


Oh dear, I just wanted lightbulbs (instead I got a crazy ass family.)

by Even_The_Stars



Series: Batfamily Oneshots [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Batfamily, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, Dick Grayson is a Good Brother, Dick Grayson is a Ray of Sunshine, I have no real want to write, I might turn this into real fics, Jason Todd Has Issues, Latino Jason Todd, Romani Dick Grayson, So this was posted, and crack, but idk, but like, haha - Freeform, i wanted to post something, it's kinda funny, this is complete trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Even_The_Stars/pseuds/Even_The_Stars
Summary: This is literal Shit.But its short and funny so read it please.It's just like the what would each character be doing in this scenario thing that I found on pinterest. And decided to do with the BatFamily and post.I had wanted to do a character study thing for myself to get to know these characters better and I decided to post it. Let me know if you think certain characters should be switched cause I had a LOT of trouble with it.
Relationships: Batfamily - Relationship
Series: Batfamily Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959301
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Oh dear, I just wanted lightbulbs (instead I got a crazy ass family.)

**Author's Note:**

> hi.... This is pure shit and i'm sorry. I hope it brings a little brightness to your day!!!
> 
> REMEMBER: Stay safe! Drink water! Eat! Use the restroom! SLEEP! Don't procrasinate!  
> Do something small to make you happy! Have A good week! Love ya'll!

**Runs into someone crying:**

**_Bruce Wayne:_ ** “Oh dear, are you ok?”

**_Alfred Pennyworth:_ ** *Hands a handkerchief*

**_Jason Todd:_ ** Passes by, speeds up

**_Damian Wayne:_ ** Awkwardly stares, then leaves

**_Dick Grayson:_ ** *hugs*

**_Tim Drake:_ ** Looks around, panicking

  
  
  
**When things go (Horribly) Wrong:**

**_Duke Thomas:_ ** Starts panicking

**_Jason Todd:_ ** Cackles madly (and possibly started the problem)

**_Damian Wayne:_ ** Frantically searches for a solution

**_Bruce Wayne:_ ** Blames themselves

**_Dick Grayson:_ ** Tells everybody to stay calm

**_Tim Drake:_ ** Lies face down on the floor, the epitome of calm

  
  
  
**Babysitting:**

**_Dick Grayson:_ ** Great at babysitting

**_Bruce Wayne:_ ** Actual Parent

**_Stephanie Brown:_ ** Wine aunt

**_Cassandra Cain:_ ** Mediocre with kids

**_Jason Todd:_ ** The house is on fire

**_Tim Drake:_ ** God is dead

**_Damian Wayne:_ ** Is babysat

  
  
  
**Going To The Home Improvement Store:**

**_Kate Kane:_ ** Fell into the cacti display while wandering around the gardening section

**_Duke Thomas:_ ** Being yelled at by employees while frantically ascending the Forbidden Orange Stairs

**_Selina Kyle:_ ** Taking sick selfies in the lighting aisle

**_Jason Todd:_ ** SHITTING IN THE DISPLAY TOILETS

**_Dick Grayson:_ ** Tokyo drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles

**_Damian Wayne:_ ** Lying on the fucking latbed, holding on for dear life

**_Cassandra Cain:_ ** Lovingly touching all carpet samples

**_Stephanie Brown:_ ** Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes

**_Bruce Wayne:_ ** JUST WANTED SOME GODDAMN LIGHTBULBS AND EVERYONE RUINED IT

**_Cullen Row:_ ** In the car sleeping

  
  


**When someone pulls out a gun and holds it to their face while shouting “ you're gonna die!”**

**_Bruce Wayne:_ ** We’re all gonna die.

**_Dick Grayson:_ ** *Deadpan* Please don't

**_Tim Drake:_ ** Ugh, finally

**_Damian Wayne:_** *Pulls out a ~~gun~~ **sword** and points it at them* No, you're going to die

**_Jason Todd:_ ** I’m afraid you arrived too late buddy, I’ve been dead for 3 years already

  
  
  
**Level of Dumbass:**

**_Dick Grayson:_ ** Dumbass and proud

**_Jason Todd/Damian Wayne:_ ** Dumbass and won't admit it

**_Tim Drake:_ ** Looks smart, is a dumbass

**_Bruce Wayne:_ ** Moron ~~ sexual ~~ **father**

**_Alfred Pennysworth:_ ** Watches the dumbases argue

  
  
  


**“I have to ask you to leave the table”**

**_Stephanie Brown:_ ** *starts (maybe fake you'll never know) crying*

**_Jason Todd:_ ** “I’ve paid, I’m not going anywhere”

**_Dick Grayson:_ ** “Can I speak to the manager?”

**_Bruce Wayne:_ ** Leaves, but will give zero stars on trip advisor

**_Tim Drake:_ ** Leaves, comes back with lawyers to sue everyone

**_Cassandra Cain:_ ** Pretends to be deaf

***Gets stabbed*:**

**_Tim Drake:_ ** “Wow rude” 

**_Dick Gryason:_** “Thats fair” 

**_Damian Wayne:_ ** “Not again”

**_Jason Todd:_ ** “Are you going to want that back or can I keep it?”

  
  
  
**Therapist, “And what do we do when something is wrong?”:**

_ AND/OR VERSION! _

**_Bruce Wayne:_ ** Add to cart

**_Bruce Wayne:_ ** Bottle it up

**_Jason Todd:_ ** Genocide

**_Jason Todd:_ ** “Hoe’s mad”

**_Stephanie Brown:_ ** Cry

**_Stephanie Brown:_ ** “It’s my horoscope”

**_Tim Drake:_ ** “Mood”

**_Tim Drake:_** Fistfight god

**_Duke Thomas:_ ** “F in the chat”

**_Duke Thomas:_ ** Mental breakdown

**_Dick Grayson:_ ** “Lol XD”

**_Dick Grayson:_ ** “It be like that sometimes”

**_Damian Wayne:_** “Thank you”

**_Damian Wayne:_ ** Leaves the country

**Author's Note:**

> Hi my darlings, I hope you enjoyed and it allowed you a bit of happiness. I think im going to continue to make more chapters of this. Remember to stay safe, drink water, eat food, cry, listen to how you feel, and SLEEP. Anyway my lovelys I hope this made you laugh, coment more ideas I you have some, and kudos if you want! Enjoy!


End file.
